There's No Bad in This Romance

I never win. I buy scratch tickets. I never win. I enter raffles. I never win. Whenever it comes to winning by chance I, wait for it....never win. I'm okay with it.  The raffles I enter are almost always for a charity so in the grand scheme of things, when we donate to a cause we are passionate about, we are all winners. Yeah, you can totally barf at last sentence. Because people like winning stuff. People like getting stuff for "free." I am no exception to that sentiment. So now that we have established that I have crap luck with winning anything but I would really like to win something awesome, I just want to tell you that I won something. Something BIG. Something that involves charity and a great love of mine. LADY frickin GAGA.

Lady Gaga has established a foundation with her mother, Cynthia Germanotta, that takes a stand against bullying. As you may know, I feel strongly about bullying and gay rights. I'm not going to go off on a tangent about that right now but it is something, as a mother and basically decent human being, I really am passionate about. The foundation is called The Born This Way Foundation (www.bornthiswayfoundation.org) and they are formally launching today at Harvard University in lovely Cambridge Massachusetts. When I saw this posted I knew I had to be there. I planned on going with my fellow die hard  "Little Monsters" but unfortunately, if you wanted to go you had to enter a raffle and be one of the lucky FIVE people that were chosen randomly by computer. I entered and thought  no more of it because I never win. I was at work Monday, took a quick peek at Facebook and saw  that the names would be chosen and revealed later that day. I went about my day, doing hair, when I called my husband to check on the kids days at school. After a bit of chatter about the kids, he asked me what I had won. I was confused because I was at work all day and yes, never win. Long and confusing story short, in turns out I won. I won the Lady Gaga raffle. I was in shock and weepy. I went home after my work day, checked out all the details and then couldn't sleep that night.

I bought a new dress and broke out in hives. I am beyond excited. I am thrilled to be able to part of the launch of a foundation that I know will help a lot of young people who have no support system to help them through what could destroy them. Please check out the link I provided and see what you can do to help kids who may otherwise have no help at all. Be kind to each other, take care of the ones that need it and don't be afraid of being true to yourself. And when you get the chance, dance and bring a little glamour into your life. It's how Lady Gaga (and I) would do it.

Outside My GD Mind...

I can't workout for at least another three weeks. I haven't worked out in a month. My muscle tone is gone. My cardio vascular system is in deep hibernation. So I decided that now would be a great time to sign up for a 5K. And not just any old 5K, but a Zombie infested OBSTACLE course 5K. Smart, huh?

I love horror movies, I love zombies. I love being scared by the things that go bump in the night. I really love being social and having a fun time. So when I saw the commercial for the Zombie 5K during a break in The Walking Dead, I thought it would be an awesome time. Zombies, a group of people having fun. Beer! Problem with that is, I don't run. I don't like to run. And I am medically not allowed to run. So signing up for a 5K sounds like a great idea, right?

So now I have to figure out a way to start training without hurting myself. I think I will take advantage of this mild winter weather and start walking through the conservation land close by with the dog, because we all know that fat bitch needs to amp up her workout!

http://runforyourlives.com/

Oh This Week!!

This week has been both so awesome and so much of a shit show. I'm exhausted just thinking about the last five days. I was hoping to have a quiet, relaxing, last week before I headed back to work. But things have a way of getting screwed up, don't they?

Monday was every one's favorite holiday, MY BIRTHDAY. I turned 35 (!!!!!) and spent the day watching the kind of movies that Paul hates and that I can't watch with the kids (oh Breaking Dawn Part 1, how do I love thee!). We went to eat at one of the tastiest restaurants on the East Coast (http://www.gibbethillgrill.com/) and I had some of my favorite dishes. The grilled cheese appetizer comes with tomato soup and it will knock your socks right off. The meatloaf, oh the meatloaf!!! I can't tell you how much I love it! But the creme brulee will make you weep in your ramekin. They had a coffee creme brulee on Monday and let's just say if I could have married it, had its babies and then ate our offspring I would have. I got some great presents.  Paulie and the kids got me a gift card to Victoria's Secret to buy some new tiny bras. And the kicker...my children were well behaved the entire time!


Tuesday was Valentine's Day, which is MY favorite holiday. I had a great day filled with new experiences. But seriously? Any holiday that involves chocolate and flowers? Sign me up twice.


So Wednesday my love fest came crashing down. Lucie was sick and stayed home with me. We snuggled and she coughed all over me. That night I found out that my manager at the salon was unjustly fired, opening up Pandora's Box. Thursday was no better. Lulu was still sick and she missed her school field trip, which at 8 years old, is completely devastating. Colin had therapy but due to a few mess ups in the office with scheduling he didn't get his session. And then the Celtics lost. Damn you Chi-town. Damn you.


So this all leads us to today. Lulu is still home sick and Colin came home from school a half an hour after he started. More salon drama and...my mother called. There was a two hour period this morning when I thought that there was a very good chance my brain might have exploded. But on a positive note, today is the three week mark since my surgery. I am feeling good. I had a small mourning period there for a few days but now I love the girls. I kinda think they are perfect. I am going out tonight to get some fresh air, buy some smaller shirts, and watch Channing Tatum take his shirt off in The Vow.


So if I am a bitch tomorrow please know that it isn't most of you and Sunday is the start of a new week. I promise it will be rainbows and kittens, or at least clear skies and cute adult cats.

FrankenBoobs

I just got home from my post op appointment. It has been a week and 5 days since the surgery. I was really getting annoyed with the dressings. The incisions were closed up with stitches, glue and surgi strips. The incisions were made in an anchor formation. (If you have read any previous posts, you may have seen the short video I posted. The technique used in that video is the same as my surgeon used.) The dressings on the underside of each breast was becoming annoyingly itchy. I couldn't wait to have my doctor remove them and then I could really get a good view of how I thought they would ultimately look.

The removal of the dressings was a relief but also a bit painful. My doctor told me that they looked great and that over time they would drop a bit, fill in and look beautiful and natural. Also, I have very cystic breasts and I can't feel any of the usual bumps and lumps. My doctor agreed that, yes, I do indeed have very cystic breasts and the best thing to do is just continue doing what I normally do to keep an eye on them. We put some gauze on the incisions as they may ooze a little and that is completely normal. I put my surgical bra back on and scheduled my next appointment. I didn't look at them in the office because I wanted to work my way through the maze of the hospital and get home  as the hospital is just about an hour away.

When I got home I was able to take a good look at them, my husband as well. They look weird. The nipples look fake and the skin there is super dry. There was more cutting up along the sides of each breast than I had anticipated. My husband said they look fake, like someone stuck them on my chest and they do. I am very intrigued to see how much the scars actually do fade and how they will look in a few weeks time.

So for now I am still forbidden to lift any heavy objects and I must take it easy. No yoga until at least 6 weeks post op. I can do some walking either outdoors or on the treadmill but absolutely no running. Considering how sore they are I am totally fine with these restrictions.  I am so impatient, I want everything done yesterday, so this has been really difficult for me because I just want to be done convalescing. However, I am very happy that I decided to take three weeks off. I am going to to take it very easy for the rest of this week and then hopefully by Sunday I will be doing some kind of fitness routine. Also, Monday (February 13th) is my birthday and I plan on eating a big delicious meal and enjoying cake.

My next appointment with the good doctor is March 7th. If I note anything interesting/painful/weird/amazing about them I will most definitely post something but for now we will assume that no news is good news!

One Week In...

So after a week of rest, LOTS of napping, some dizzy/nausea attacks from not eating enough, some pain in the breast/armpit area and the worst constipation I have ever had, I am happy to report the worst (hopefully) is over. So now that you know how my body reacted to the surgery let's talk about the subject at hand, my fancy little new breasts.

They are TINY. And when I say tiny, I mean tiny for me. As a friend put it to me this morning, a C cup is nothing to complain about it. I am definitely not complaining about them because I do like them. I can't stop looking at them. I find that I am having a hard time keeping my hands off of them, and for a few reasons. Holy crap they are itchy. Like so itchy that I can't think of much else except how I would love to dig my nails into the skin and rake them back and forth in an absolute fit of ecstasy. The nipples have not only NOT lost any sensation but I swear to your higher power of choice, they have MORE feeling. And the breasts felt hard for awhile, almost like a  bad implant, but they are beginning to soften up. And no, there is nothing in there except what my momma gave me. The most sensitive spot is still where the drainage tubes were but that is feeling much better as well. I have been able to sleep on my side more. Also, when I do (rarely) sleep on my back I usually have my arms raised up over my head. I woke like that this morning and I wasn't in pain. 

The bruising has faded and some of the surgi strips are coming loose. After my post op visit next week and the dressings from the drainage tubes are changed or removed, I'm sure they will be looking good. But most importantly, they have made me feel good and that is really what this is all about.

Phase Two

Surgery was about three hours. I was asking P about my recovery because there is not a lot I remember about that two and a half/three hour period. I was in and out and I hate that feeling. There is nothing worse to me than trying to be in control and there is something getting in the way of that. That's one of the reasons why I won't get drunk anymore. Anyway,  I was laying in recovery, floating in and out of consciouness. P said he wasn't allowed to see me there so he hung around and waited until I was in my room. P also said I was awake when he came to visit me in my room. I don't really recall that either. It was all blurry. I remember being super hungry and very, very nausous. My first nurse of the night, who was so amazing and kind, got me a pukie bag and chicken soup. I think she brought me ginger ale and crackers before that, but again, it's all kind of blurry. The sip of soup and gingerale/crackers combo didn't agree with me at all and it came right up. This is nothing new for me. Every time I get anesthia I throw up. I decided to try and sleep and slept until about 10:30. I turned on the tv to see if I could see the score to the Celtics game, had some dry toast and slept. I was woken by the night nurse around midnight for my vitals. It was a long sleepless night. I threw up one more time and had the loudest talker (shockingly louder than me!) down the hall and I was also in some pain. The next morning I actually pounded my breakfast of bacon and eggs and coffee, blessed blessed heavenly sent from your higher power of choice COFFEE.

I thought that I may have had to go home with my drainage tubes. Drainage tubes, you say? Oh yes. Long skiny tubes that were wound up inside my new tiny ladies and were attached to a bulb of some kind. The night nurse drained them once. Two doctors came in and checked the output level and decided to take them out. I have had a catheter before when I had the kids so I thought it would feel similar to that sensation and it did. It burned a little. The strangest sensation was that I could feel them moving inside the breast as they were being pulled out. The doctors dressed them and that was it. The spots where the tubes were are actually the most sensitive part of the whole breast. I was seen by a couple more doctors, my plastic surgeon included, and was allowed to go home before noon. My doctor informed me that I needed to be wearing my surgical bra at all times (except, obviously, when I was showering). I was sent home with a prescription for percosets and one for an antibotic. I was taken down to the entrance in a wheel chair but when I saw P pull the car up I walked out on my own two legs. I felt a little weak and cold but other than that I was fine. I got car sick (no throwing) on the way home but I get car sick 99% of the time I am in a car and not driving.

The kids greeted me tentatively at the door. I went right up to bed and slept for while. I could have taken a shower but I felt crappy and just wanted to sleep. The first night home was rough. You need to sleep propped up and I am a side/belly sleeper. I was up every four hours like clockwork. I took a percoset every time I was up and that helped. Sunday morning I ate a very light breakfast. Even though I was hungry I had zero appetite. I had a shower, so happy to shave my armpits and wash my hair. It wasn't painful to lift my arms, something that I had anticipated, and was pleasantly surprised when it didn't happen. I rested all day and the kids were great about being gentle. I didn't take any more of the percs during the day. I managed the pain with Extra Strength Tylenol. I did take one Sunday night to sleep.

Monday was more resting and another shower. I didn't bother washing my hair. I still hadn't had a bowel movement and I was becoming increasingly anxious. I was farting an obnoxious amount. After I had the Little Man it took me quite a few days to go and when I finally did, it was worse than child birth. The amount of apple sauce, fruit, dried apicots, stool softener, water I consumed was disturbing. My stomach was as hard as a rock and it certainly wasn't my abs of steel. Monday night was an uncomfortable sleeping night but I wasn't about to take another perc because I was determined to poop. After a restless night and a lot of hard work, we had splash down Tuesday morning.

Uncomfortable doesn't cover how it felt. I was farting all day and had some major stomach cramps. After dinner I spent the next hour and a half in PAIN and trying to go again. I was in tears at one point and my son was in the bathroom with me rubbing my back. Pooping in our house is a family affair. I went to bed, the kids snuggled as gently as possible, and we read stories. I went to bed and woke on my side.

So this brings us to today. I woke up with some pain in my right armpit. I took off the sports bra and let the girls air out a little. I took a shower, shaved, washed and dried my hair. I feel like a whole new gal! I have been taking it super easy today. The tender spot is no longer sore. I took some Tylenol at 9 am and it is past two now.  The most sore areas are still where the drainage tubes were. I have complete feeling on every part of the breast. The surgi strips and dressings are still in place. I have a follow up with my surgeon on the 8th.

It is very strange for me to see myself with these little breasts. They are cute. They don't rest on my belly or flop into my armpits. Any back/neck/shoulder pain I used to have is gone. The straps on the surgical bra aren't digging into the skin on my shoulders. I went from having a left breast clocking in around an E cup and a right one coming in at a DDD to a perky C cup. I can't wait to see them after they have healed up. I am beyond thrilled that I can go BRALESS this summer. I can wear the tank tops with the built in bras and that's it. I can wear my cute summer dresses with the tiny straps and not have my giant bra straps showing. I can wear halters and backless dresses and not be in pain anymore.

I am feeling pretty good but I am determined to take it easy. I have a history of taking on more than I can and should do. I want to be able to go back to work feeling good. I want to heal so I can go back to being a mom and back to be being a (slighter hotter) wife. I am hoping to be able to start working out again sometime next week. Oh, and for those who may be wondering, I went into surgery at 149 lbs. I weighted myself after the initial big poop and I am down to 146 lbs.